My Little Space on the Web

Long Time, No Blog

2010-12-17T14:16:00.002-05:00

My goodness. March was a long time ago. I have made some big changes in my life since then! The most significant one being that I am no longer married (well, almost...it will be final in January.) I have pretty much abandoned this format, using Facebook notes instead. And since I have a wider audience on there than I did on here, it makes sense to use it more.

Well, now that I've started this post, I find I have nothing to say. How pathetic. What else has changed? Still at the library, but have a new boss. That's all good. Still a mom, but the kids are older. They seem to be handling the divorce as well as can be expected.

Oh!! I completed ALL of my New Year's Resolutions a few months ago. :) Yay me!! Now I need to figure out what to do for 2011.

Christmas time is upon us. Shopping, planning--it's all different this year. I'm feeling like we need to start new traditions to replace the ones we have lost. Thanksgiving worked out fairly well with going out to eat with my mom and brother. I cooked on Friday when I was home with the kids. (NTS: don't take a nap when cooking a brisket in the oven.) Still figuring out what Christmas will look like for us this year.

Um...that's all I've got to say right now. If you really want to know what I'm doing, follow me on Twitter or Facebook.

Remembering March 26, 2008

2010-02-16T23:21:00.019-05:00

We knew it was going to be soon. But we thought it would be during the night. We'd each been telling him it was okay to go. We'd be fine. Shows you how much we knew.

The day my dad died, I had come over to my parent's house to bring my mom flowers for her birthday, which was the next day. He had not been conscious since the beginning of the week. Not eating, not drinking, his breathing was very labored. The hospice nurses said he was "in transition." His breathing would slow down, they said, and then it would stop. We'd been in and out of the room all day, listening for his breathing. Listening for it to stop.

By the way his breathing was slowing, we knew it was coming. I decided to stay the night with my mom. There was only one problem: I hadn't brought any clothes with me. I could wear something of hers except for under garments. I would have to have my own. Rather than drive all the way home and back, I decided to run to the store and buy some new ones. One more time, I went into his room and told him to let go. "We'll be fine. I'll take care of her," I said. And I left.

I really wasn't gone that long. I ran to the closest store and bought some cheap undies. Then I stopped into work to tell them I most likely would not be in the following week, and went back to my parent's house. I walked into the house, up the steps, into the hallway and listened. My mom was on the phone and called out that his breathing was getting slower. I listened. I didn't hear his labored breathing. Then I looked into the room. He wasn't breathing. I kept watching him, waiting for his chest to rise, but it didn't. He was gone. My dad died alone because I just had to go buy underwear. And I wasn't fine.

My mom said she had only been out of the room for a few seconds; the phone had just rung right before I walked in the door. Maybe he was waiting to be alone to let go. Maybe he knew we couldn't handle it if he let go in front of us. It helps a little to tell myself that, but I don't really believe it. We'd been telling him to go, and he went! We said we'd be fine! We were wrong.

Before it happened, I honestly thought I would feel relief when he was gone. He had been in so much pain for so long. I just wanted that to end for him. Yes, I'd be sad, but I was sure that I would be mostly relieved that his suffering was over. To say I was unprepared for the utter devastation I felt would be an understatement! I've struggled to try to put the right simile on it: It was like a light went out. It was like my heart was ripped out. It was...I don't know. It HURT. I felt alone and abandoned. He had always been there for me, and I wasn't there for him. I'm not sure I will ever be able to forgive myself for that.

Grieving sucks. At first, with so much to do, I just functioned on auto-pilot. I'd go where people told me to go, do what they told me to do. I cried constantly. It was exhausting. I'd crawl into bed at night desperately needing sleep, and just lay there and think and cry. The empty, hollow feeling was so overwhelming.

I was asked to speak at my dad's funeral, to represent the family. How in the hell was I supposed to do that? I could barely get myself dressed in the mornings! How could I put my feelings into coherent thoughts and stand up in front of people to say those thoughts out loud? Somehow, I summoned the strength and did my dad justice. I spoke about some of my favorite memories. I spoke about his unconditional love for me and my brother that I only understood after I had my own kids. I am proud of what I said that day. I think he would have been proud of what I said, too. But why did I wait to say those important things to him? Why do I wait to tell others how much I love them and how much they mean to me? I still don't have the answer for that.

After the funeral and taking care of all of the details, there is nothing left to do. There is nothing else to focus on except the deep loss you feel. And cry. I had no idea the human body could make so many tears. One thing I truly regret is how much I focused on myself and on my mom, but not on my kids. They were grieving, too. But they didn't want to come to me because they were afraid they would upset me. I feel terrible about that. I hope when we face a loss again they will come to me. We can cry together.

Today, it has been two years since my dad died. I still regret not being there. I am still shocked at how deeply I felt the loss. I am still ashamed of how much I took him for granted. And I still can't watch his favorite movie (and one of mine, too), "A Christmas Story." It hurts too much to watch it knowing I'll never hear him laughing at it again. I would give anything to watch it with him one more time. But where do I go from here?

Why his death seems to occupy my thoughts more this year than it did last year is a mystery. I have realized and finally made peace with the fact that I am always going to miss him. It hurts, but not in the same way. It's more like a constant ache than a stabbing pain. I can talk about him now without tearing up, most of the time. But I still see or hear things that remind me of him when I'm not expecting it. That swift cut of pain always takes me by surprise. I will always miss him, but I also will always have a part of him with me. I have wonderful memories and life lessons that will stay with me as long as I live.

I said at his funeral that a good parent leads by example. He taught me to put my family first. Because that's what he always did. So that's what I do. He taught me to do my best. Which is a lesson I learned perhaps too well. I warped doing my best into being perfect, and that became an obsession for me. I'm just now learning to let go of that obsession and to not beat myself up when I make a mistake. He taught me to not to give up. One of my worst memories from childhood was when my dad was laid off from his job. He took a job delivering newspapers to keep us in our house. I remember that was a very lean year; I still hate Hamburger Helper! I desperately wanted to spare my kids that experience, but here we are. I am trying to not give up. It's been hard, but we haven't missed a house payment yet. Looking back and living through this same experience as the adult/parent, I don't know where he found the strength to go on. He was much stronger and braver than I ever knew. And I wish I could tell him that now.

I am very blessed that I had my dad in my life as long as I did. And I'm thankful that my kids got to know him so well. He touched their lives just as he touched mine. My son is named after him, and my daughter's first word was "Pa Pa." I hope I am teaching them the same lessons he taught me. I hope they feel the intense unconditional love I feel for them.

I have no special plans to mark this day like I did last year, mainly because I have to work. He would tell me to stop thinking about him and to do my job! I will do my job, but I will never stop thinking about him. And I will do my best, because that's what he taught me to do.

Progress and No Progress

2010-01-31T22:23:00.002-05:00

I am using this space this year mainly as an area to update my work on New Year's Resolutions. Read them if you want to, or ignore them. I find I keep things in mind better if I keep track of them, keep myself honest, as it were. So, here is how I've done.

I think I've made the most progress with having my picture taken. I took the kids and their friends bowling on MLK Day and took the camera along. I took several shots of them, and turned the camera over to them to take some of me. I even posted those on FB! That wasn't part of the original resolution, but I have very few pics of myself on there. As the year progresses, I hope to fix that. Anyway, one of the pics is my new profile shot. I have gotten so many compliments on that picture! Of course, all I see when I look at it is my double chin. So thank you for pointing out my smile, rosy cheeks, and just how genuinely happy I looked. It was a fun day and I'm glad I have the pictures (including those of me) to remember it by.

The year of watching Mel Brooks' movies continues. I did skip "The Twelve Chairs" because the library doesn't own it. Still haven't decided if I want to spend moolah on this quest or not. Maybe. Anyway, I moved on to one of my personal favorites, "Blazing Saddles." So many quotable lines in that movie! Here are just a few that my hubby and I say on a routine basis:

"Excuse me while I whip this out..."
"Why do I always get a warped one?"
"It's twue! It's twue!"

Wow. None of those really make sense out of context. You'll just have to watch the movie yourself. Most of the other lines are not, well, politically correct. I'm not entirely sure this movie would be made today. The script would never make it past the censors and the Politically Correct Police. I was also struck by the talent of Harvey Korman. How under-rated was he as a comedic actor? I remember watching him on "The Carol Burnett Show" growing up. I loved it when he would giggle through the scene he was in. I just knew he was having as much fun doing the show as I was watching it. And I cannot let my comment go by without noting the brilliance of Madeline Kahn. Fearless and fabulous. The DVD box said "Blazing Saddles" was voted the 6th funniest movie of all time by The American Film Institute. Of course, I had to go look that up, and here is the proof. That's a lot of laughter. Next on the list is my all time favorite, "Young Frankenstein." Can't wait!

Moving on the No Progress portion of my entry. Exercise. Damn exercise. No exercise this week, and I didn't really even think about it. And now I'm sick, so that gives me the perfect excuse to not do any this week, either. I did, however, have a "Come to Jesus" moment this week. I was sitting pretzel sytle (Indian Style, for those of you who grew up before it became politically incorrect to call it that...) in a public area of the library. A customer saw me sitting that way and asked me how I did it. I don't know HOW; I just bend my legs and they move that way. Who cares? Then she adds, "You aren't skinny; how are you so flexible?" Well. Thank you very much, bitch. Up yours, and I hope you have a crappy day. Now, I will admit: I am not skinny. She spoke the truth. And, actually, she paid me a compliment. Not many adults my age can still sit this way and get up afterwards. But still. You don't tell someone "You aren't skinny." That's rude! And to my ears "you aren't skinny" equals "YOU ARE FAT." So, maybe she helped motivate me. Because that comment is going to stick with me awhile. Maybe next report I can include that I at least did 1 sit up.

Resolutions

2010-01-10T22:10:00.004-05:00

Was it really May when I last updated this blog? Wow. That is truly lame. Well, what's changed since May? Not a whole helleva lot! Still broke (actually broker.) Still no job prospects for Rob. Still worry about being broke constantly. I'm surprised I don't have an ulcer. Hey, something new to worry about! Yippee.

Okay, on to the topic of this post: I made some Resolutions for 2010. I resolved to exercise at least 3 times a week. So far, I have thought about exercising every day but not actually done it. I did join an online website to help me keep track of exercise points. I lost almost 20 pounds 2 years ago with a similar approach, so maybe it will work again. I just have to do it. And, yes, I have to re-lose those 20 pounds all over again. See what happens when you stop exercising?

What's really odd is my main motivation for losing weight was getting my heart in better shape. At the time I lost the weight, my dad was in the final stages of heart disease. Watching him die was no picnic, and I really don't want to put my kids through what I went through. But then he died. And that motivation died, too. I'm sure part of that was grief. I pretty much did nothing for months. But it's been almost 2 years, and I have not had any luck getting the motivation back. I still have the lousy genetics that make me prone to heart disease. I still don't eat a heart-healthy diet. Lack of exercise is not helping me any. I know how buy-in works: I know the price of not exercising and the value of doing it, too. So why doesn't that make me want to do it?

Moving on to less depressing resolutions: I also resolved to watch (or re-watch) all of Mel Brooks' movies. I decided to watch them in the order he directed them. Why, yes, I am a librarian who likes things in order! How did you guess that? I was inspired to do this after watching part of the Kennedy Center Honors in which he was an honoree. I've always liked his humor, so I hope this will be a fun resolution to keep. First up is the original Producers. This is one of his movies I haven't seen yet. I have always liked Gene Wilder, so I assume I will enjoy it. I will try post my comments here or on FB.

Hmmm...I think I made one more, but I can't remember what it was. That's a bad sign, isn't it? If I can't remember what it was, then I certainly haven't made any progress toward it. I should have written them down. Wait--I think I posted them on Facebook. I'll have to look at my old postings and see what I said. Wait here while I go look..talk amongst yourselves.

Ah, yes!! Have more pictures taken of myself. I have not had any pictures taken. I posted on FB a couple of days ago that I was having a good hair day. Then someone asked me why I didn't take a picture of it. D'OH!! Didn't even think of it. Okay--sometime this week I will have at least 1 picture taken of myself and post it. Even if I'm not having a good hair day.

One Good Thing

2009-05-03T17:57:00.004-04:00

I am determined to be positive here today! A couple of weeks go, my pastor had a sermon on finding the one good thing that had happened that day. It really seemed like she was speaking just to me. I have been focusing on the bad stuff, because there's been so damned much of it! But I am going to focus today one one good thing. Okay, maybe more than one. I have a friend who blogs about 3 beautiful things. This is a great idea I have always been too pessimistic to attempt, but I'm giving it a try today.

1. I have more support than I ever realized. I was really overwhelmed by the number of posts, both on here and on FaceBook to my previous blog post. Everyone made me feel like someone heard me, and that someone cared. Thank you all for reaching out to me in a dark time.

2. This was a beautiful day. I spent some time on my porch swing, reading. This has become my favorite way to spend my free time. So relaxing!

3. I took a 2 hour nap!! Blissful sleep that too often eludes me at night--aahh.

4. My husband cooked dinner tonight. Best lasagna ever!! I will be able to take it for lunch, too, so I don't have to worry about that all week.

5. I have a wonderful mom who took the time to make my favorite cake for me. I adore HER red velvet cake, but it has cocoa powder in it. I gave up chocolate for Lent, and could not have any on my birthday, which fell during the season. We finally found a day that she could come over and make the cake with me. The cake was delicious, but the time spent with her was precious and delightful.

6. My children are both smart asses. I can imagine you are thinking, "That's a good thing?" Well, yes it is. They are both intelligent, quick thinkers who can zing me when I least expect it. That always makes me laugh.

That was easier than I thought it would be. Six good/beautiful things! I am blessed.

Are You There, God? It's Me, Kim.

2009-04-02T12:53:00.002-04:00

Hey there! How have you been? I try to talk to you every day, but it's been awhile since I feel like I've heard from you. I know, you're busy. Very important job you have. I just kind of wondered though, if you got my message last night, or any of those other nights?

I've heard the whole "you never give us anything we can't handle" routine. Can I just tell you I can't handle any more? Is there a form I need to fill out? Do you have a customer service department that handles complaints? Please tell me what I need to do; I really need some of this stuff lifted off of me.

That "Footprints" poem has always been one of my favorites. I know a lot of folks think it's hokey, but I've always liked it. I have to tell you, I don't really feel carried right now. I feel like you've dropped me in a big pile of shit. And you're standing there laughing at me. WTF?

Isn't there someone else's life you could drop some crap into? I'm sure there is some evil child molester out there who could use a good car accident. What about that Bin Ladin guy? Can't you send some rain on his parade instead of mine? I mean, really, what did we do to deserve all of this?

I am truly thankful that no one was injured last night. I've been telling myself how lucky we were all day. But I'd really like to know that our neighbors aren't going to sue us and we aren't going to lose our home, though. Can you at least tell me that?

I know, I'm blaming you for things that are not your fault. In my head, I know you don't "zap" people for fun. You're there to support us. I know there are people going through a lot worse crap than what I am, too. My piddly little problems don't seem like much to you. I just don't feel very supported, God. If you can't fix any of this, then show me how to.

Okay, well. I've taken up enough of your time. I'll let you get back to whatever it is you do all day. Please give me a call soon. I'd really love to hear from you.

Thanks or Amen.

A Year Ago Today

2009-03-26T09:03:00.003-04:00

Today is the one year anniversary of my dad's death. It as taken a year, but I am finally (I think) at the place I thought I would be right after he died. I am relieved he is not in pain anymore. I know he is in a better place. I believe one day I will see him again. Grief has come in waves, and I feel it is out to sea right now. It hasn't come crashing in on me since Christmas. Some little tides have rushed in unexpectedly, but no huge waves. That is a good thing, right? It doesn't mean I've forgotten him. I'm healing. Thus leaving the question: how to spend today?

I feel the need to celebrate his life, to honor the impact he had on my life, and I'm not sure what the best way is to do that. I thought about going bowling, the only sport he played that I actually kind-of enjoy, which we did on Father's Day last year. But I am not feeling up to physical activity. Must be the gray, dreary day outside today. We will certainly have pizza for dinner in his honor. Dad was a self-proclaimed "pizza shark," a trait that has been passed genetically to my son. That is appropriate since I named Will after my dad (and grandfather.)

I think I will call my mom and see what she is up to doing. Her birthday is tomorrow, and we are planning to go to see the butterflies at the Conservatory. Perhaps the best way to honor him is to spend the day with the people I love. Telling and showing them how much they mean to me. That's a tribute he would appreciate, I think.

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

2009-03-19T20:09:00.002-04:00

I have a blissful 11 days off starting in about 45 minutes. Actually, I have learned the real term for what I am doing is a "staycation" since I am not actually going anywhere. My kids have Spring break next week, and I am joining them. I am also adding an extra couple of days off for my birthday. I do not believe in working on my birthday and take it off every year.

We might go to the art museum to see the new Egypt exhibit or to Franklin Park Conservatory for the butterflies. I am planning a day trip up to Ashland, Ohio. Why? Because that is the home of Grandpa's Cheesebarn, a lovely store right along I-71 selling homemade cheeses, tons of cute gifts, and chocolates (next door at Sweeties). We found this place on one of our trips up to Niagara Falls, and now it is one of our favorite places. So, we are certainly driving up there.

Other than that, it will be a wonderful week of sleeping in. There will be a ceremony tonight, turning off the alarm clock. I can't wait. I will be keeping in touch with Facebook and Twitter, of course. If I were going somewhere, maybe I'd be completely unplugged. But since I'm home, I have to keep up with news somehow. I will, of course, have to fight my kids for computer time.

My break is over now, so back to work for the last half hour. I can make it!!

Insomnia Sing Along

2009-03-13T00:28:00.004-04:00

Okay, here is a little ditty I am writing because I cannot sleep. Sing along with me:
Oh, the tune is "Oh Christmas Tree" I know it's March, but that's the tune.

Insomnia, Insomnia.
Oh how I hate insomnia!
Insomnia, insomnia.
Oh how I hate insomnia!
You keep me up too late at night.
I should be tucked in tight.
Insomnia, Insomnia.
Oh how I hate insomnia.

Hmmm...not thrilled with that 6th line. What else rhymes with night? bite, kite, light, might, fight, height, sight, white. I am so good at phonological awareness! (That is a fancy ready to read term that means rhyming.) Let's see if I can get a better line:

You keep me up too late at night.
Nothing for bite..
I won't be able to fly a kite
Hope I'm asleep by morning light.
Nothing for might...
Nothing for fight...
Nothing for height...
My eyes are bloodshot; such a sight!
The sleeping pill I took was white.

Those are pretty sucky. I kind of like the bloodshot eyes one the best. No, the morning light one is better. I wish I could come up with rhymes for all of them. Ideas, fellow insomniacs? (Or fellow rhymers?)

I am sleepy and tired. Why will my brain not turn off? I should have taken the sleeping pill earlier. Except I was at work until 9, and I probably would have gotten in trouble for sleeping at the Info desk. I've read enough about insomnia to know that I should not be out of bed blogging right now. Nor watching tv ("Big" is on VH1--haven't seen that one in a long time.) I should be laying (lying?? I never get that one right), resting my eyes waiting for sleep to come. But it doesn't. And then I start thinking. Hence the certain Grammy-award winning song I wrote, above.

Since I am online, I will probably check Facebook and Twitter too, just to see if anyone else is up. No offense folks, but I'd really rather be sleeping.

EDIT: Don't you hate it when you check your post for errors, find none, hit post, and then see a huge TYPO????!!!! I hate that.

Interview with My Kids

2009-03-03T12:04:00.003-05:00

This has been making the rounds in the blogosphere and on Facebook. It looked like fun, so here are my kids' answers. Will is 14 and Lainey is 12.

1. What is something mom always says to you?
W: Is your homework done?
L: Get into (or out of) the shower!

2. What makes mom happy?
Both: CHOCOLATE

3. What makes mom sad?
W: Not having chocolate
L: Being awakened from a nap

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
W: You're just funny
L: Sarcasm

5. What was your mom like as a child?
W: Evil--she locked her brother in a closet (I did not! We were playing hide and seek, and I shut him in a kitchen cabinet. He could have gotten out any time he wanted to.)
L: ?????

6. How old is your mom?
L: 40..no! 29!! You are always 29.
W: What did Lainey say? Then I will say 27. (both kids earn a gold star)

7. How tall is mom?
L: 5'3" (she's right)
W: Shorter than I am (he's also right)

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
L: Eat chocolate and then take a nap
W: Twitter

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
L: Watch reality tv she says she doesn't watch
W: Talk to the dog

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
L:?????
W: World's Greatest Microwave cook

11. What is your mom really good at?
L: Cooking (she is soooo wrong, but it sweet that she said that)
W: Being awesome

12. What is your mom not very good at?
L: Sports
W: Not cussing (oops--blush)

13. What does your mom do for her job?
Both: Children's librarian

14. What is your mom's favorite food?
Both: Chocolate

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
L: When she doesn't embarrass me
W: She's a wonderful and awesome person

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
L: Pepe le Pew (I can't imagine why she would say that)
W:????

17. What do you and your mom do together
L: Talk
W: Have fun at the supermarket

18. How are you and your mom the same?
L: Eye color
W:We both like to read

19. How are you and your mom different?
L: Our favorite colors are different
W: I have more balls (yes, this is really what he said)

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
L: She tells me every day.
W: Everything she does for me

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
Both: Walt Disney World

That was fun! I have great kids.

Happy Birthday to Half of My Family

2009-02-25T18:52:00.003-05:00

2 out of the 4 birthdays in my house were celebrated Tuesday.

This is a picture of my hubby's birthday cake this year. It was very yummy, too. In case you don't know, that's Nipper the dog with the gramophone. Hubby is a huge vinyl record fan, and has a big collection of them. So, I thought it was only fitting that Nipper grace his cake.

My daughter also had her birthday yesterday. She is now 12. How is that possible?? I swear we just brought her home from the hospital. We looked at her baby book last night (a yearly tradition), and she was so tiny. I don't have a scanner, so I can't post a picture, but trust me, she's beautiful.

She was born on the same day that my hubby was. We actually chose to have that happen, since she was a planned C-Section. (Her older brother was an unplanned C-section, but I'll save that gory story for another post.) Another happy coincidence is that the same doctor delivered hubby and Lainey. 33 years apart. Doc was just staring his practice when Rob was born, and just happened to be on duty when his mom went into labor. He was just about to retire when Lainey was born. When we picked out the date, we didn't know which doc was going to be at the hospital that day. At a baby shower, someone asked me who was going to deliver the baby, and I listed all of the docs in the practice, since it could have been any one of them. When I mentioned Dr. Lamprecht, Rob's mom got this funny look on her face, and said, "I think that's who delivered Rob!" She later got out his birth records, and sure enough, Dr. L it was. So, when we got there and saw Dr. L, we told him about our coincidence. He was a bit surprised, but was pleased to see that Rob had "turned out so well."

The Blog Lives!

2009-02-13T16:45:00.002-05:00

Thank you to everyone who voted and gave me your thoughts on the blog vs. Facebook decision. I have decided to keep the blog, which is a complete change from what I thought I wanted to do. You all convinced me this blog is a good thing! I will step up my efforts to post more often. And to put more "me" in the posts, too.

I have no Valentine plans--very sad, I know. I've always kind of hated Valentine's Day. It's such a manufactured holiday. My son did ask me to take him shopping for his girlfriend's present. I believe he will be picking out the present, and I get to pay for it--how thoughtful of him. I might buy myself some chocolate for being such a great mom!

Blog Vs. Facebook

2009-02-05T18:29:00.008-05:00

I am starting to wonder why I have both of these pages. Do I really need both? Is it time to end the blog and just keep the Facebook page? Last year at this time, I had neither page, and I was perfectly happy. Now I have this dilemma. Let's see if we can figure this out:

Reasons to End This Blog:
1. I don't visit it or update it very often.
2. I don't have as many followers as I do on FB, especially since the CML L&P program ended. So, whatever I write on here reaches very few people. Actually, maybe this is a good thing, and a reason to keep the blog...
3. It doesn't have Flair, Super Poke Pets or Super Poke. (Which could actually be a mark against FB, if I think about it). I mean, aren't those just huge time-wasters? Fun, yes. Necessary, probably not.
4. I have just recently found the Notes section on FB, which is essentially the same thing as a blog.

Reasons to Keep This Blog:
1. It is purple. FB can't be purple.
2. CML may offer more L&P activities in the future, and I will probably need a blog for that. So I might as well just keep the one I have.
3. It is easier to maneuver around on here. I still haven't figured FB out completely.
4. FB can be very slow. It just locked up on me, giving me another reason to keep the blog.
5. I thought I had FB set to display my blog updates in the notes section, but it's not working now. My old posts are there, but not this new one. Grrrr..... [Edit: It's working now. Must not be instantaeous.]
6. It is purple!!

Hmmm...not the best reasons to keep the blog. I think I will post a poll on here and a status update on FB, and see what everyone else thinks. I know several people who keep up both a blog and a FB page. Maybe they have some words of wisdom.

My Feelings About Winter

2009-01-28T21:43:00.001-05:00

Totally stole this from someone else's blog. Don't know the person, but thanks for the biggest laugh I've had all day. Edit: Biggest laugh all winter, actually.

HOPE!

2009-01-21T11:41:00.002-05:00

How exciting was the Inaugural?! For the first time, I watched it. I actually watched our top elected official promise to uphold the Constitution. Streaming online, even! I had Twitter up, commenting on the events and posted a status on my Facebook account, too. It was thrilling to be a part of the festivities, even on a small level.

I had hoped my kids would watch it in school. They said they only watched bits of it. I'm glad I had set our DVR to pick it up. We watched it together last night. History in the making.

As hopeful as I am that this President will be different, I am skeptical. I remember how much I believed in another President who wound up embarrassing the Office and the country with his sexual antics. I felt betrayed by that man and the circus he created. I hope I never feel the same way about President Obama. He does seem to have more integrity than that other guy, but I still can't help but think he's also just a politician. I hope I'm wrong. I hope he can fulfill the statements he made in his speech. I hope.

Ups and Downs

2009-01-13T14:01:00.002-05:00

Up: Despite the fact that I only exercised one day last week, I managed to lose 2 pounds!! I must stop being lazy now and get back into the exercise routine. That is really the only way I am going to lose any more weight and get my heart healthier.

Down: My kids have been sick (nasty tummy virus) that kept us up all night. But they are both better now, so I hope our germiness is over for the season.

Up: Hubby has the home theater room done to where we only need carpetting. It is super fun to watch movies for free in the comfort of my own home. A movie is going to have to look REALLY good to drag me back into the theater.

Down: Still no permanent job for hubby, but he is at least working 40 hour weeks again with the temp agency. The 2-day work weeks over the holidays hit us pretty hard.

Up: I got the dog license this year! Somehow we forgot/lost it last year and just never got it. That was probably fine until our dog ran away and got picked up by the dog catcher. We got him back from the shelter, and then I got a registered letter saying I owed a $150 fine. Failure to pay the fine would result in a warrant for my arrest!!! ACK!!! So, I made sure to get the stupid dog license this year. Now if Max runs off again, at least he is legal.

Down: Icy roads--yuck. I detest winter roads. If God could just let the snow fall on only the grass, I would be happy. And of, course, that's all God has to worry about is whether I'm happy or not. (That was supposed to be snarky/sarcastic, just in case it doesn't read that way.)

Up: I do feel like I have started to turn the corner on my depression. It's not "the year my dad died" anymore, and for some reason, that has made a difference. I hope I can continue the mood upswing!

Goodbye 2008

2008-12-31T22:14:00.002-05:00

It is no secret I am glad this year is over. Quite honestly, it's been one of the worst years of my life, and I am happy to see it end.

So, what am I going to do to make 2009 better?

Well, for starters, I am going to stop feeling sorry for myself and quit whining. Yes, I had a bad year. But, I still have a roof over my head. I still have food on the table. I still have the love of my family. So, I am going to try to focus on the positive. This will not be easy for me since I am a true pessimist at heart, but I will try.

So, that's my big resolution. I have a couple of smaller ones, too. Clipping and using coupons and paying bills online are 2 of them. I am also going back on the exercise and portion control "diet" I successfully did earlier in 2008. Hopefully, I can lose some more weight and get my heart healthier.

I will continue to blog, too. It has proven to be a creative, calming outlet for me. Who knew?

So, here's to 2009. I hope it is a great year. At the very least, it has to be better than 2008!

Christmas Tag

2008-12-27T20:01:00.009-05:00

My friend Cat sent this to me, and it looked like a fun way to wrap up the holiday.

1) Wrapping paper or gift bags? Usually wrapping paper for family, but gift bags for everyone else. They are easier to carry to and from a party.
2) Real tree or artificial? Artificial. I've had live trees and they are much more work.
3) When do you put up the tree? Usually the first weekend in December.
4) When do you take the tree down? New Year's Day.
5) Do you like eggnog? Ick--no.
6) Favorite gift received as a child? Something Barbie--probably her big yellow mobile home. I always wanted the townhouse, and never got it. My friend Michelle did, though, so I got to play with it at her house.
7) Hardest person to buy for? My husband. He usually wants electronic or stereo stuff. It's easier to just get him a gift card or have him buy it himself and give it to me to wrap.
8) Easiest person to buy for? My mom.
9) Do you have a nativity scene? I have about 10 throughout the house. That's the whole point of Christmas, right?
10) Worst Christmas gift you ever received? A polyester pants suit that my grandmother got me when I was about 12. It was blue and red checked--horrible. I can't imagine what she was thinking.
11) Favorite Christmas Movie? Well, I love "A Christmas Story." But I guess I like kids' animated specials better: the Grinch, Year Without Santa, Rudolph--the classics.
12) Favorite Christmas song? O Come, O Come Emmanuel.
13) Travel at Christmas or stay home? We travel in town on Christmas Eve and stay home Christmas Day.
14) Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? The only ones I can remember doing that for were white elephant gifts.
15) Favorite ornament theme or color? I have several. I prefer red, green and clear lights for the tree. Any ornament my kids made is very special to me. The angel on top of our tree is one that I made in Camp Fire Girls when I was 9 or so. It has been at the top of every tree I've ever had. I also have a small collection of Christmas outhouses that make me laugh.

I am tagging:
Megan
Wendy
Julie
Mary
Brandy

I want to add that Christmas was hard this year without my dad (see previous post). I broke down a couple of times and could only watch some of "A Christmas Story," my dad's favorite Christmas movie. However, the lasting memory I will take from this year will be playing Rockband with my kids. We laughed a lot and had a great time together.

Going Through the Motions

2008-12-08T19:23:00.002-05:00

Well, the house is decorated. The tree is up. Festive music is on the boom box. Shopping has begun. I should be excited. Instead, I feel...hollow. I am having a hard time feeling excited about Christmas this year. Truthfully, I wish it were over already. I just don't feel it this year.

Since my husband still hasn't found a permanent job, the Christmas budget is considerably less than what it usually is. He and I aren't even exchanging presents this year. We decided it would be better to put it all toward the kids. They say they understand that there are going to be fewer packages than in previous years. But thinking they understand and seeing the reality under the tree Christmas morning are two very different things. I'm dreading seeing their faces Christmas morning.

And then there is the knowledge that one very special person is not with us this year. This will be the first Christmas without my dad, and I just don't know how to handle that. I keep remembering when I was a kid. Every Christmas day, my dad would spend hours putting together toys. Building Barbie houses and putting those tiny decals all over them. He'd build something for me, and then work on something for my brother (not Barbie, though). All day. Even when his back gave out, he kept building those damn toys. I hope I thought to say thank you, but I probably didn't. I wish I could go back in time, just for a minute, to say thank you.

He loved the movie, "The Christmas Story." He would watch it over and over and over and still laugh. It drove my mom crazy. (She is not a fan.) I love that movie, too. I don't know if I can watch it this year, though. Too painful. Too many memories of watching it together, laughing together and teasing my mom for not getting it. How can I keep up a tradition that hurts?

So, I'm back to going through the motions. Doing what I have to do to make the holiday special for my kids. That's what my dad did. That's what I will do this year with the hopes that next year will be a little better.

Where to Shelve Me

2008-11-26T15:04:00.003-05:00

Kimbra Griffith's Dewey Decimal Section:

940 History of Europe

Kimbra Griffith = 19328178966908 = 193+281+789+669+08 = 1940

Class:
900 History & Geography

Contains:
Travel, biographies, ancient history, and histories of continents.

What it says about you:
You're connected to your past and value the things that have happened to you. You've had some conflicted times in your life, but they've brought you to where you are today and you don't ignore it.

Find your Dewey Decimal Section at Spacefem.com

Not sure I agree with the 940, but the description is fairly accurate.

Lazy Blogger

2008-11-26T11:19:00.002-05:00

I have not been a good blogger. I meant to add thoughts before now, and just haven't taken the time to do it.

Thanksgiving is tomorrow. Does it seem late to anyone but me? I have been off the whole month. Turkey Day was never a big deal in my house growing up. My folks didn't eat turkey, and it's not my favorite, either. So we didn't have a big meal. The only real tradition I remember is getting up to watch the Macy's parade and putting up the small Christmas tree in my room. My parents had a 3 foot tall tree for my brother and I. We always put those trees up in our bedrooms on Thanksgiving. We had our own ornaments, too. Mark's were all sports-related, and most of mine were animals. I still have some of them that I now use on our big tree in my own home.

I loved that small tree. I loved it so much, that I continue the tradition with my own kids. Will and Lainey each have their own 3 foot tree that they will put up tomorrow. Will has a collection of penguin ornaments (many that I purchased in Frankenmuth) for his tree. This year, Lainey threw me a curve ball. She wanted to "change" her ornaments. She didn't want the pink ornaments we have always put on her tree. This year she wanted blue ones. Hmmmm. Changing traditions. I was not sure I could buy-in to this. But, I do like blue at Christmas, and it was my dad's favorite color. So, we bought some new blue ornaments. I think she will have a lovely tree. I hope my kids are enjoying this tradition as much as I always did.

10 Random Things About Me

2008-11-11T09:36:00.004-05:00

Here are my 10 random things that Helene challenged us to do.

1. I love dark chocolate, which most people know. I like milk chocolate, too, but prefer dark. Strangely, I do not like chocolate chip cookies.

2. I have never seen "It's a Wonderful Life" all the way through. Seen the beginning, the end, and parts of the middle, but never the entire movie in one sitting. Every year I plan to do it, and every year I don't.

3. I LOVE "Family Guy." I know it's rude and crude; I don't want to laugh, but I do. (I just realized that rhymes. That was not intentional.)

4. I read the ending of every book I read before I get to it. Actually, I usually read the first 50 pages to get interested, and then skip to see how it ends. If I like the end, I finish the book. I tried to not do this with "My Sister's Keeper" by Jodie Picoult. BIG MISTAKE!!! I did not read the end of the Harry Potter books first, either, but I did look to see what the last word of the last book was.

5. I still have a stuffed dog, Bridget, that my grandmother gave me when I turned 1. She is in terrible shape (all her fur is gone, you can see where I had to do surgery on her years ago), but she means more to me than any other thing I own. She has a small couch that she sits on in my bedroom. I have given my family instructions to cremate her with me when I'm gone.

6. I've gone skiing once, and I will never go again. The most embarrassing moment of my life happened on a ski slope. I was on the tow rope, going up the baby hill, and I fell. Yes, I fell on the way up. On top of the tow rope. When you fall on a tow rope, it stops. This causes all of the other skiers on the rope to fall, too. I was not the most popular person on the slopes that afternoon.

7. I collect elephants.

8. I have never been to the Ohio State Fair. Well, technically, I was there once since my mom went when she was pregnant with me. But since I don't remember anything, I'm not counting that.

9. The only B I got in library school was in my children's services class. That's a bit embarrassing since that is what I do every day now.

10. My fantasy career would be to be a Broadway singer/actress/dancer. Since I am fairly uncoordinated (see #6), that was not to be. Second fantasy career would be an archaeologist. Since I really don't like heat, bugs or the outdoors in general, it's probably a better fantasy career than a reality. I'm glad I fell into libraries. If I wasn't doing this, I would probably be a teacher.

Well, there you have it. 10 random things about me. They seem fairly boring to me (no meeting famous people or living in fabulous places). I look forward to reading everyone else's random things.

Edit: just remembered one I wanted to include.
11. My full name is Kimbra, not Kimberly. I hated it when I was a kid, because it was different. Now, I really like it and get mildly ticked when people assume my knick-name is short for Kimberly.

Mazza Moments

2008-11-10T11:21:00.002-05:00

I attended the Mazza Weekend Conference this weekend. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, the Mazza Museum is part of the University of Findlay. It celebrates the art of picture books. The museum has original art from thousands of picture books displayed as gallery art. It is inspirational and educational. Every November, they bring in several artists to talk about their work. Here are my favorite moments from those authors this year:

Marla Frazee (Couple of Boys Have the Best Week Ever): "Illustrating a book is like house hunting. There are many beautiful ones you want to look at, but few you'd actually want to move into." Picture book art must carry as much of the story of the book as the text does. It propels the action and provides surprise. When the text and the art are the same, it falls flat. But when the text and the art are different, that is the surprise and the humor. (See her book "Everywhere Babies" for an example of what she is talking about. The text is sweet, but the illustration is of a messy baby.) "Baby steps are not easy! The first step we take is always the hardest." Sales and marketing have much more to do with picture book design than we realize. If that department doesn't "get" the book, forget any promotion for sales. Her latest book went through several cover designs and title changes before marketing would back it.

Beth Peck (How Many Days to America): spoke mostly about her research process for her newest book, "Just like Josh Gibson." Part of her illustration process is to photocopy her art to make it darker. For 7 years, she went to the local pharmacy to use their copier. She finally got her own copier for her studio.

Alexander Stadler (Beverly Billinglsy books): very funny!! Probably my favorite presenter. His first book was rejected 25 times. When finally picked up, he was told "You can't write, but you can draw." His editor now claims she never said that! He has moved from picture books into j fiction (semi-graphic novels "Julian Rodriguez" books--published in Spanish and English). He is now working on a YA novel, too. Detail is what makes the story--in the text and in the drawings.

Marc Tyler Nobleman (Boys of Steel): Mainly an author, but also a cartoonist. His latest chronicles the life of the 2 guys that created Superman before it was basically stolen by DC Comics. I did not know that they were from Cleveland! He also talked about how details are important, even if the author/illustrator is the only one who knows about them. For example, he found out that Joe, the Superman illustrator, was left-handed. So, in every picture that shows him drawing, he is doing it left-handed. Most people won't realize that, but it was important to him to be accurate.

Christy Hale (Those Calculating Crows): When she was in 5th grade, her teacher read them "Harriet the Spy". She and her best friend spent the summer running their own detective agency, complete with disguises. While working on the "Elizabeti" books, she had to get permission from the publisher to contact the author. (This is frowned upon in the publishing world, for some reason.) She wanted more info about Tanzania, and the author sent her some fabric that she eventually worked into the designs for the characters' clothing.

Kevin Hawkes (Library Lion): another amusing presenter. Humor has to play a part in his illustrations, even for non-fiction books. He illustrated 'The Librarian who measured the Earth" and did tons of research on ancient Greece. At one time, the library in Alexandria was largest library in the world. Now, there is nothing left. Hawkes believes this is due to "budget cuts." He changed his style greatly to illustrate "Library Lion" on purpose. He moved around a lot as a kid, and the library was the one constant he had. The books were his friends that never changed. So, he wanted the pictures to feel warm and like "comfort food." "They couldn't be wild like my other stuff."

I encourage you to make the trip up to Mazza just to see the museum. It is well worth the trip!

Thing #23: The End

2008-11-06T13:58:00.003-05:00

I am so sad to see this program end. I have felt more energized by this training than any other in recent memory (except for BOP). I remember having a similar reaction to STYLE when we first rolled it out, but I can't really remember any other training that I immediately put to use and was sad to see end. I guess lifelong learning itself really never ends, but I will miss having a new thing to discover and play with every week.

My favorite dicsoveries, the things that I will continue to use, are blogging (a surprise), Flickr and the image generators, Google Docs and Google reader, YouTube, and of course, Twitter. I am also counting Firefox in with these favorites even though it wasn't an official thing. I had heard about it, but didn't really know much about it. If it hadn't been for the 23 Things (Twitter especially), I would never have tried Firefox. I love it now. It's actually annoying when I have to use IE for CML applications.

I looked back at the lifelong learning attributes. I still see problems as problems, not challenges. I probably always will. The difference now, though, is that I am not as afraid to ask for help. (A BOP skill, too: asking.) I also value playing more as a learning tool, too. I always knew I needed to use a new skill or tool awhile (break it) before I felt like I knew what I was doing. I realize now this is playing. I hope CML builds play time into any new initiatives it begins.

An unexpected outcome from this endeavor has been "meeting" people around the system. I have never met silvermarquis or shoebrarian, but I enjoy reading their blogs and following them on Twitter. I have learned things about my co-workers I probably wouldn't have learned otherwise.

I can't really think of anything I would do to improve the program. When staff were struggling to complete each thing in the allotted time, the time was extended. I am completely baffled by the staff who didn't want to even try the program. I've heard lots of folks say, "I don't have time." You don't have time to learn something new? You don't have time to improve your skills? I don't get it. This stuff isn't going away. I, for one, was tired of my customers (and kids) knowing more than I did. I'm still not the best at troubleshooting and figuring out the techy ends of these things, but I am glad I know more about using them. I hope the 23 Things stay posted somewhere. Maybe staff who didn't try it the first time through will give it a try later. If this program were offered with 23 new things, I would be the first to sign up!

Thing #22: MOLDI

2008-11-06T12:41:00.003-05:00

Well, I have to say I was not impressed with MOLDI. There were more books than I had thought there would be, but they usually only had one copy. And the titles I liked were all checked out. I did manage to find a book I thought would be interesting. I checked it out, but couldn't get the software to load correctly. I'll have to ask lolzrock to show me what I was doing wrong later. I read her post and she has used this system successfully before. But,right now, I have an audio book checked out that I can't listen to. That is frustrating. I do like that the book is automatically checked in when it is due. Too bad we can't have the same convenience with actual books!
I also looked at the music selections, because I do like to listen to music in my office every now and then. But the selections were all classical. I'm not a huge fan of classical music. Some pieces, yes, but overall, no.
I didn't try the videos yet. I assume I won't be able to watch the top rentals.

Thing #21 Continued

2008-10-24T10:05:00.002-04:00

I am trying to play with this one some more. I did successfully find some good feeds about Walt Disney World. Found podcasts directly from WDW and from fans. I still haven't found any I want to subscribe to. I also found some book review podcasts, but I felt they were lacking something: I couldn't see the book! I find I am missing the video or visual element. I don't listen to talk radio, and I really only listen to music in the car, for the most part. I also don't listen to books on disc. Perhaps I just don't like this audio-only format.

Thing #21: Podcasts

2008-10-23T13:32:00.002-04:00

I had some trouble with this one. Most of the feeds I found were from 2006. I had great difficulty finding what I wanted to find, which was a podcast about America's Next Top Model. My wonderful cable company is fighting with the CW network over money, and they have dropped the network from their lineup. So, I thought, "Hey, with this exercise maybe the CW has a podcast I can listen to, or maybe some crazed fan out there has a commentary I can hear instead." No such luck. I tried to find teen book reviews, and got old teen tech week info instead. So I am not feeling the love for podcasts. Major thanks to Megan (Pinkmegd) for helping me out on this one. Had it not been for her, I would still be stuck trying to download unnecessary software on to my computer for this thing.

Thing #20: YouTube

2008-10-22T09:03:00.003-04:00

I have used You Tube many times before. It is great for catching things I missed on TV (Tina Fey's first appearance as Sarah Palin, Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman's songs about how much they love Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, for example). I used it most recently at home to prove to my kids and their friends that the alphabet can be pronounced. I can't remember how it came up, but to prove my point, I started singing this song that I remembered from my childhood. They looked at me like I was nuts. I told my son to let me on the computer, went straight to You Tube, and found the proof. I made them listen to the entire song. I don't think they appreciated it as much as I did.

I like that you can find anything from really obscure 1970's commercials to current pop culture events that everyone is talking about. I don't always like the comments posted to videos. I understand that the comments are what makes this a "community", but why can't we all be nice to one another? I guess I still operate under Thumper's credo: "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all." (Yes, you can find that video on You Tube, too.) Is it acceptable to be rude to someone just because you've never met and will never meet them? This is what keeps me from posting any videos online. I don't want people to be mean to me! I do wonder about the legality of posting some of these videos, too. I know the music industry had a fit over people downloading songs for free. Isn't this the same thing? I am glad You Tube is out there. It fulfills a need and creates a community. Just be nice when you are there!

Frankenmuth weekend

2008-10-21T09:15:00.011-04:00

Posted some pics from my weekend in Frankenmuth, Michigan in flickr. Super fun time. Went to Bronner's Christmas Wonderland, the world's largest Christmas store and their replica of the chapel where "Silent Night" was first performed. Also found my dream house in Dunkirk, Ohio!!
My family is reluctant to move, however. It seems not everyone wants to leave their friends to live in a purple house. I do not understand this. The house is up for sale for only $110,000. (Yes, I checked the MLS listings.)

I have tried about 4 times to include the link to my photostream in this post. It doesn't work. Try copying and pasting: http://www.flickr.com/photos/29881259@N04

If that doesn't work, search lpcml on flickr. You should find some of my Hilltop pictures, and can then link to my entire photostream. Not sure if I am doing something wrong, or if the blogger link button isn't working right now.

Still Learning and Playing on a "Week Off"

2008-10-16T13:13:00.003-04:00

Well, L&P added some weeks where we don't have to do any "things." I know there is a sports term for that, but I can't remember what it is. If you are following the L&P blog, you probably saw a little video starring moi. (When the Academy calls, please page me on Vocera.) Gerald and Joy are super nice and if they ask to come film you, let them. After using Firefox to solve my Internet Explorer/Google Docs dilemma, I decided to spend this week playing with Firefox as my browser. Mostly, I really like it. It seems pretty fast. I love how I can customize the toolbars and buttons; I am currently styling a Halloween theme. I absolutely LOVE the add-ons. Mucho thanks to library4joy for showing me the TwitterFox add-on. It keeps Twitter refreshed on my browser all day so I can stay in touch with all of the tweets. I also love the way it remembers all of those pesky user names and passwords for me on every site! It's great to not have to type those out every time. I did find, however, that some of the library tools will not open on Firefox very well. Iemployee, for example, warns you when you are about to open it in Firefox that it won't work well. I had problems viewing LearnerWeb, too. I think I will continue to use Firefox after this week. It's great to know that we have an option other than IE.

I also played with google reader this week. I tried bloglines earlier, and didn't really like it. It was hard to set up and looked cluttered. Google reader was so simple to set up, and extremely easy to add my feeds. I don't think I typed anything; it was all cut and paste. Of course, after I did all of that I saw an even simpler way: there is a hyper-link that says "import feeds" or something like that. Oh well. It was good practice.

I am looking forward to next week's things already!

Thing #19 CML's Toolbox

2008-10-07T13:13:00.003-04:00

Well, I feel like I'm cheating on this one. I have had the library tool bar on my home computer for awhile now. I've found it extremely helpful, especially when I'm off work. It's so easy to check to see what items have come in on my account and to check for new items, too. I have been using many of the Power tools we list, too. Twitter and Gmail are my new best buds. And I tried del.ici.ous and Library Thing in previous things. So, I tried loading StumbleUpon. So far, all it's done is clutter up my browser bar. I guess I have to add some sites to be able to start connecting with people. I will try that later. I can't believe we're at Thing #19! Only 4 more to go. I'd really love to see this continue with other sites and tools. I feel like we've only scratched the surface, and there is so much more to learn. This has been the best training EVER at CML. Thanks to all of those who created and led it.

Update: Just learned about the highlight feature. OMG!! How cool! I constantly read about books online, bring up our website, and then type in the title to search for it. This highlighting is SO MUCH faster!! I love it. This has been the "highlight" of my day. :)

Thing #18: Web 2.0 Award Winners

2008-10-06T13:48:00.007-04:00

I love this game! EDIT: GRRRRRRRRR!!! Now it's not working--just says it's loading. This is from the Widgit Winner "YourMinis" site. I'd prefer to have it on my sidebar, but I can't figure out a way to copy it there. So, try it from here instead. I can't find it as a gadget to be added from blogger, so if anyone knows how to copy it to the side, let me know. I also really liked the the Food winner, "Im Cooked." I am a horrible cook, but I love to watch the Food Network. This website has home home videos of regular, everyday folks cooking lots of different recipes. I could film myself microwaving tonight's dinner, upload it, and be an internet star tomorrow! Not sure how these apply to the library. I guess if someone wanted to see exactly how to fold ingredients, you could bring this site up. I see more applications with the legal forms site, although I still can't tell people "Yes, this is the form you need."

Thing #17: Google Docs/Web-based Apps

2008-10-06T12:35:00.003-04:00

This is really interesting. I used to have a packing list for trips, but that was on an old computer. I've never updated it, and I spend a long time HAND WRITING a packing list for every trip I take now. (Why???) Also, as I am creating the list, I might think of something at work (while I'm away from the list), so I write it down on a scrap of paper. Hopefully, that scrap makes it home, where I add the item to my list. If I have this document on google documents, I can update it whenever and wherever I am. I also added my husband as a collaborator, so in the (unlikely) event he thinks of something I haven't, he can add it, too. So, here is my draft list (uploaded from google). If you think of something I don't have on there, please add it in the comments. My next trip is a weekend getaway to Frankenmuth, Michigan in a couple of weeks. My daughter, my mom and my mother-in-law are taking a girls' weekend to shop at Bronner's Christmas Wonderland, the largest Christmas store in the world.

PACKING LIST
x # of outfits (x=1 day more than you will be gone)

Outfits= jeans/shorts

shirts

sockies

undies (tops and bottoms)

Medicines: stuff for everyone (Tylenol, tummy stuff, etc.) and individual meds (R, L, me)

Makeup

Hair stuff (brush, hairdryer, mousse, hairspray)

Deod

Toothpaste/brush

Camera

Jammies

Jacket

Umbrella

Maps/directions

Cooler: pop, water, ice

Food: snacks, breakfast

Paper towels

Handiwipes

Reading slump

2008-09-26T10:53:00.002-04:00

I have nothing to read right now! How did that happen?? I have several new things on reserve, but they aren't out yet. I just finished the MaryJanice Davidson books, and would really like to find something that funny, but not about vampires (or anything paranormal, really). I am a little tired of fantasy right now. If anyone reading this has any good suggestions, please let me know.

#16: Playing in the Wiki Sandbox

2008-09-24T08:53:00.002-04:00

I found this exercise confusing because it didn't seem to work right away. I Twittered about how to do this one, and I found out I was doing it right, I just had to wait for access. It's funny how we expect technology to instantly do what we ask it to do. There is still a human element involved for some of it! Anyway, I got my access granted this morning (thanks, Tammy) and successfully added the link to my blog (it works--I checked.) I added a couple of my favorite things, too. It will be fun to keep checking back to see what other folks add.

#15: Wikis

2008-09-22T13:34:00.003-04:00

This is another "thing" that I am not very familiar with. Of course, I have used Wikipedia, but I've never edited it. I find it scary, not interesting, that ANYONE can edit a page. What happens if someone erases all of my hard work? I guess I could go into the recent changes page, and see who the culprit was, but I would still have to re-do any work that person deleted. I think it would cool to start a CML "What I'm Reading Wiki" for either CMLsi or the main webpage. No fancy covers or long blurbs, just a list of what each staff member is reading. It might be useful for program planning too, if several staff from area branches were planning the same program. Perhaps staff gathering books for the Capitol Day teacher presentation could post the titles they are considering. Or, the SRC booklists could be created this way, instead of meetings or a flurry of emails. I will keep thinking about applications for this tool.

#14: Library 2.0

2008-09-17T13:45:00.004-04:00

I think I am still having trouble getting my head around this. I think I understand the key ideas, but I'm just not sure what I personally need to do with them. This program is the first step, I'm sure. Learning more about the tools that connect customers to us and to one another and figuring out the best way to integrate them into the library. Some things did stand out to me as I read the resources for this exercise:

1. Get rid of "just in case" collections. I may never be a 2.0 librarian if I have to give up the printed collection. I see the author's point about reference material being available faster on the web, but I believe (perhaps foolishly) that people are always going to want to READ A BOOK. I cannot get rid of all of our fiction titles just because we can get little portable electronic books. Maybe I am not a "trendspotter" (sorry, Michael Stephens), but I just don't see people giving up books for these expensive gadgets. I never intend to.

2. User Education. Boy is this an issue at my location! Everyday, I help people who call themselves "ignorant" about computers. They literally back away from the terminal when I need to show them how to register for cards or for computer time. Many of these people do not know how to use a mouse, but they need to apply for a job online. It's very scary. We do have classes here, and a few people take advantage of them. I've even heard from happy "graduates" who came back in to say thanks. There is an entire generation/population out there who don't like computers. Even though they are fairly easy to use, they fear them. I don't know how we reach all of those users.

3. Trendspotting. I am not good at this at all. I have not read the OCLC documents, although I have heard about them. I've even attended workshops on them (maybe at Staff Development Day???) I just don't have the right mindset for this particular skill. I live in the here-and-now, solving problems as they come up. If this skill is required to get my MLIS in 2.0, I may need to repeat a grade. (I am old enough that I only hold an MLS; I'm missing the "I" that today's fine graduates are getting. Does that make my degree obsolete? I hope not.)

Wow, this is a long post. I guess I had more to say about Library 2.0 than I thought. I hope that means I'm on my way toward becoming a Librarian 2.0.

Thing #13: del.icio.us

2008-09-17T13:45:00.003-04:00

This was a pretty handy tool. I can see how it could be used to replace all of our rolodexes and notebooks of information. Very easy to find stuff, too. I LOVE the way HFAR is using it!! I will have to remember it's out there (or assign someone here to create an account for Hilltop reference use and be sure HFAR's is linked). I don't have that many websites that I use for research, so I'm not sure I would use it on my own. I also don't have that many websites or blogs that I monitor, so keeping them linked to my favorites is no big deal. But, it would be nice to be able to take them with me in 1 website instead of having them be computer-specific. I might have to play with it and see if it works for me. But I don't have a laptop, so if I'm not at work or at home, I'm not on the computer anyway. I will certainly pass this one on to my kids, though. They are both in middle school and will soon be working on research papers of their own. What a time saver this will be for them! I'm thinking back to my stacks of barely-legible notes I took for my own research papers. How I wish this had been around when I was in school.

More Twittering

2008-09-11T12:37:00.001-04:00

I tried Twitter again today, and it looks like I'm actually talking to people now. I even have a few followers! I'll keep trying it; maybe it will grow on me.

Thing #12: Twitter

2008-09-09T15:13:00.002-04:00

https://twitter.com/read2akid

Well, I think this is my Twitter page (hee hee--that makes me think about Bambi's "twitterpated" word). I don't really know what to do with it yet. I probably haven't played with it enough. I did find Joy and Gerald and some other CML folks, but I couldn't tell if I was following the page or not. I was frustrated that I had to type in my password about 8,000 times. I have not had much luck searching Twitter. I was only able to search for contacts through my email (which, oddly enough, was my real work email even though I entered my L&P email on twitter). I am really not sure how I would use Twitter yet. I really don't think that there are that many people who care what I am doing every second of every day. (I would LOVE to make my kids get on here for hourly updates, though.) I will try to fit some more play time in this week.

Thing#11: LibraryThing

2008-09-09T14:33:00.002-04:00

http://www.librarything.com/home/read2akid

What fun!! I only added a few of my all-time favorite books so far, but this may take the place of keeping track of the books I have read on my blog. It depends on if LT has really new books or not. I wish this was around a long time ago. I used to write down all of the books I read in a notebook, but that got too hard to keep up with so I quit (okay, I got lazy). But, I did find that when I looked back through that list, I couldn't always remember the book. I love being able to see the covers displayed on LT. (I remember covers better than title names, anyway.)

Thing #10:Image Generators

2008-09-08T16:12:00.004-04:00

I had great fun with the ALA mini read poster! I think I need to get more photos on flickr. I'm running out of choices. I found Generator Blog confusing. I need to spend more time playing with it; I just didn't understand the point of that site. But, the flickr toys are a super source of gadgets. I made an inspirational poster. I'll try to post the links below.

http://www.ala.org/ala/productsandpublications/READ_Mini_Posters.cfm

http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/ I used the "Motivator" toy for this one.

RSS feed sharing

2008-09-04T18:35:00.002-04:00

Here's my blogroll:

http://www.bloglines.com/public/read2akid

That only took 3 attempts. My bloglines screen looked nothing like the screenshot on the L&P blog. I had to stumble around until I found the directions on blogline.

More RSS fun, or not (Thing #9)

2008-09-03T09:20:00.002-04:00

I was disappointed that several of my favorite sites do not offer this cool piece of technology. I still have to visit them the old, slow way! After watching the CommonCraft video, I thought it would be a great idea to have lcoal gas prices sent to my bloglines account. But I couldn't find a feed. The best I could do was to link columbusgasprices.com to my favorites list. That seems so...antiquated now. I am amazed at how quickly I adopted a bit of technology that I didn't see a use for until yesterday. I liked the Topix site, but not the Syndic8 one. I liked the way Topix was arranged and when I followed the link from the CML blog site, it took me right to the local page. It took a little bit of playing yesterday to figure out the bloglines add/edit system. But, once I got it, it seemed easy. I did some more searching today for Thing #9. Now that I'm looking for the feed icon, I don't seem to be seeing it on as many websites as I thought I would.

#8 RSS Feeds

2008-09-02T14:13:00.003-04:00

This was really neat. I have noticed those icons, but never really knew what they meant. I've been following several co-workers' blogs, and I had wished the participants list had a "updated" notice. Now I have one! Instead of clicking on each blog, I've entered them into my blogline list, and can instantly tell which blog has been updated. Very handy. No more disappointment at loading the blog, and seeing nothing new to read. I know CML is already using RSS feeds to let customers know about new items. I hope customers are taking advantage of this. I routinely show customers the printed lists we produce for movies we've purchased and upcoming book publications. I will make a point to start asking them if they have RSS feeds, too. But, ugh!!!! ANOTHER user name and password!!

What I've Been Reading

2008-08-28T14:26:00.003-04:00

Finished "Ghostgirl" by Tonya Hurley. It was pretty good. Just started the "Undead" series by MaryJanice Davidson--what a hoot! A customer recommended it to me, and I'm glad she did. I also just started Debbie Macomber's newest, "8 Sandpiper Way," part of her Cedar Cove series. I usually love her stuff, but I'm getting a little bored with this series. Not sure why.

I've seen other blogs with Shelfari or other reading lists posted along the sidebar. But I think my sidebar is pretty full right now. Maybe I'll add this kind of post over there when I feel like changing it. It'll be like redecorating my house, but for free!

#7: Blog about technology

2008-08-27T12:57:00.000-04:00

Hmmmm...I don't know much about how technology works. But I sure get aggravated when it doesn't. One thing that really annoys me is passwords. Just to use work-related technology software, I have 8 different user name/password combinations. I finally had to write them all down. That doesn't even count the logins that get me into the computers at the desk or help me over-ride filters, etc. To get into sites that I subscribe to, I have an additional set of 9 user names/passwords. (Yes, I wrote those down, too.) Can't someone invent a thumb-print reader to let me sign in to these tools faster? Can't my monitor just see that it's me and let me on? Sorry, this wasn't supposed to be a rant about technology (oops.) I understand the need for unique user names and passwords, I just don't like to have so many of them!

I am loving this whole Learn and Play program! I would never have done this on my own. Having a structured, guided way to learn and having permission to play is making me a better technology user. Things I was once afraid of, or didn't think I had a use for, I am now learning to appreciate.

I did post some comments on other blogs. And got up the courage to read those posted on mine. Usually, when I see comments posted on other (non-work) blogs, they are snarky or just plain mean. I am pleased to see my co-workers are not following that same pattern. Thanks to those of you who responded kindly to my whiny post.

My creation

2008-08-27T08:55:00.001-04:00

My creation
Originally uploaded by read2akid43

Well, I am trying this yet again. This time from the Flickr side, not the Blogger side. Sorry for posting the same creation 3 times, but I guess that's part of playing: DO OVER!! Perhaps I didn't have my blog set up to upload images correctly. I guess they have to be given access to "talk" to one another. Go figure. Thanks to my co-worker, Mary, for telling me about this option. Check out her fun L&P blog (Rock me like a Librarian), too. Cross your fingers that this works this time, and you won't have to see this image a fourth time.

More Flickr Fun

2008-08-26T09:17:00.000-04:00

I played around with the mashups today. I discovered one where I could make my own magazine cover, which I will attempt to upload. The Photo Captioner and Movie Poster look like fun, too. I'll have to add some more pictures on Flickr, or try this with my camera at home. I have waaaaaaayyyy too many pictures on the memory stick. Mainly because I still don't know how to get them developed. I knew how to take a roll of film in and get pictures from that, but this is different.

Just tried to upload, and the image is blank. Will try again later. Play time is over.

Well, I got it to work, but only when I saved the picture to my computer. I will have to keep playing with the upload feature. Before, when the picture wasn't displaying , you could at least follow the link to my Flickr page. Now, it's just enlarging the picture when you click on it. I'll have to ask if anyone knows what I'm doing wrong.

Still doing this wrong. Now I have 2 things linked--the uploaded link (but the picture is blank) and the copy from my pictures (with no link to Flickr). grrrrrrrr.......

Back to Work (and Play)

2008-08-25T10:59:00.000-04:00

This week's assignment is to play with Flickr. Lots of fun! I found so many great pictures of places I have been or wanted to go. I thought it would be boring looking at other people's pictures, but it really wasn't. I can see how it would be so much easier to share pictures this way instead of emailing them. I have tried to email pictures before, only to have the email not go through because the file was too big. This site is much nicer. Plus, I can add titles and descriptions. Way cool.

Here are a couple of pictures from inside the Hilltop branch. We are so lucky to have these beautiful artifacts to look at everyday. The Hilltop area was once home to the Central Ohio Psychiatric Hospital (1877-1991). Long time Columbus residents will remember passing the structure at the junction of W. Broad St. and I-70.

It was a gorgeous old building that unfortunately became too costly to keep in good repair. So, it was torn down. Luckily, many of the interior pieces were saved and Hilltop's architect incorporated these artifacts into our design. So now we have a piece of Hilltop history still living in our present.

WARNING! Whining Ahead:

2008-08-23T20:43:00.000-04:00

Can I whine on here? I hope so. I know this is supposed to be a work thing, but we need to keep work and life in balance, so I'm going to get a little bit of life off my chest. My life has not been so great lately. My dad died in March, and I am still grieving. Then my husband lost his job. He got a new one, but travels all the time, so we don't see him very often. On one of these travels, his wallet was stolen. Then coming home he had not 1, but 2 flat tires. Now, today, he had a car accident. I don't know how much more we are supposed to take. When will this horrible run of bad luck be over?? I suppose you could argue that it sounds like my husband is having the bad luck, not me. But what happens to him affects me, and I feel his pain. Can I just say, "THIS SUCKS AND I'M SICK OF IT!!!!" I can? Good. I'm glad I did. Yes, we all still have our health and our home. Yes, we are all still together. Yes, I know there are millions of people who have bigger problems than mine. But these are my problems, and I warned you I was going to whine about them. If you didn't want to hear about them, then you shouldn't have read this post. ;-) I will probably delete this entire thing, but I feel better just getting it out. Sometimes we just need a pity party, and I guess this was mine.

Hooray! I'm a participant!

2008-08-23T11:58:00.000-04:00

I was afraid I had messed something up, but I am finally listed with all of my co-workers who are learning and playing at Web 2.0. I had so much fun playing with http://www.faceyourmanga.com/, I did my kids, too. They don't think they look like them, but I do. I think I'll post them down below with Calvin and Hobbes at the bottom of my blog page.

OMG!! I just realized I picked the same hairstyle for my son that I picked for myself. Maybe that's why he didn't like his picture...

What I'm Reading

2008-08-20T16:35:00.000-04:00

What would a library blog be without lists of what I'm reading? Boring!! So, here's a rundown of what have recently read or am currently reading.

Just finished: "Just One of the Guys" by Kristan Higgins (LOVED this!!)
"Breaking Dawn" by Stephanie Meyer (Didn't hate it, didn't love it. But it didn't deserve the bad review/grade it got by Entertainment Weekly.) "Remember Me" by Sophie Kinsella (LOVED this, too--thanks for the tip, Wendy)

Currently reading: "Ghostgirl" by Tonya Hurley (Extremely cool design and cover art--book is good so far, too.)

I used to keep lists of what I read, but I foolishly stopped doing that. Maybe this will give me a reason to start again.

Thoughts on this process so far:

2008-08-18T09:25:00.000-04:00

I am surprised this was so easy to set up. I'm glad CML is doing this program, because I don't think I would have made time for it otherwise. I think the goal setting will be extremely easy for me. That is so much a part of my personality/genetic makeup! I think the part that will be the hardest is giving myself permission to play. I might have to actually schedule it at first.
One thing I am really happy about is that I knew what "Twitter" was BEFORE my 14 year old son did! He tried to tell me that's because Twitter is "lame," but I think he's just ticked off that I'm cooler than he is (for once).
Now that I think more about it though, I think the truly hardest part will be for me to view problems as challenges. A problem is a problem. I'll work through it, but it's still a problem. Those who know me well, will tell you I am a "catastrophizor." I plan for (and usually expect) the worst. That way I'm prepared when everything falls apart.

It was this easy?

2008-08-13T13:10:00.000-04:00

Well, here I am. I'm really surprised it was this easy.