Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Goodbye 2008

It is no secret I am glad this year is over. Quite honestly, it's been one of the worst years of my life, and I am happy to see it end.

So, what am I going to do to make 2009 better?

Well, for starters, I am going to stop feeling sorry for myself and quit whining. Yes, I had a bad year. But, I still have a roof over my head. I still have food on the table. I still have the love of my family. So, I am going to try to focus on the positive. This will not be easy for me since I am a true pessimist at heart, but I will try.

So, that's my big resolution. I have a couple of smaller ones, too. Clipping and using coupons and paying bills online are 2 of them. I am also going back on the exercise and portion control "diet" I successfully did earlier in 2008. Hopefully, I can lose some more weight and get my heart healthier.

I will continue to blog, too. It has proven to be a creative, calming outlet for me. Who knew?

So, here's to 2009. I hope it is a great year. At the very least, it has to be better than 2008!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Christmas Tag

My friend Cat sent this to me, and it looked like a fun way to wrap up the holiday.

1) Wrapping paper or gift bags? Usually wrapping paper for family, but gift bags for everyone else. They are easier to carry to and from a party.
2) Real tree or artificial? Artificial. I've had live trees and they are much more work.
3) When do you put up the tree? Usually the first weekend in December.
4) When do you take the tree down? New Year's Day.
5) Do you like eggnog? Ick--no.
6) Favorite gift received as a child? Something Barbie--probably her big yellow mobile home. I always wanted the townhouse, and never got it. My friend Michelle did, though, so I got to play with it at her house.
7) Hardest person to buy for? My husband. He usually wants electronic or stereo stuff. It's easier to just get him a gift card or have him buy it himself and give it to me to wrap.
8) Easiest person to buy for? My mom.
9) Do you have a nativity scene? I have about 10 throughout the house. That's the whole point of Christmas, right?
10) Worst Christmas gift you ever received? A polyester pants suit that my grandmother got me when I was about 12. It was blue and red checked--horrible. I can't imagine what she was thinking.
11) Favorite Christmas Movie? Well, I love "A Christmas Story." But I guess I like kids' animated specials better: the Grinch, Year Without Santa, Rudolph--the classics.
12) Favorite Christmas song? O Come, O Come Emmanuel.
13) Travel at Christmas or stay home? We travel in town on Christmas Eve and stay home Christmas Day.
14) Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? The only ones I can remember doing that for were white elephant gifts.
15) Favorite ornament theme or color? I have several. I prefer red, green and clear lights for the tree. Any ornament my kids made is very special to me. The angel on top of our tree is one that I made in Camp Fire Girls when I was 9 or so. It has been at the top of every tree I've ever had. I also have a small collection of Christmas outhouses that make me laugh.



I am tagging:
Megan
Wendy
Julie
Mary
Brandy

I want to add that Christmas was hard this year without my dad (see previous post). I broke down a couple of times and could only watch some of "A Christmas Story," my dad's favorite Christmas movie. However, the lasting memory I will take from this year will be playing Rockband with my kids. We laughed a lot and had a great time together.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Going Through the Motions

Well, the house is decorated. The tree is up. Festive music is on the boom box. Shopping has begun. I should be excited. Instead, I feel...hollow. I am having a hard time feeling excited about Christmas this year. Truthfully, I wish it were over already. I just don't feel it this year.

Since my husband still hasn't found a permanent job, the Christmas budget is considerably less than what it usually is. He and I aren't even exchanging presents this year. We decided it would be better to put it all toward the kids. They say they understand that there are going to be fewer packages than in previous years. But thinking they understand and seeing the reality under the tree Christmas morning are two very different things. I'm dreading seeing their faces Christmas morning.

And then there is the knowledge that one very special person is not with us this year. This will be the first Christmas without my dad, and I just don't know how to handle that. I keep remembering when I was a kid. Every Christmas day, my dad would spend hours putting together toys. Building Barbie houses and putting those tiny decals all over them. He'd build something for me, and then work on something for my brother (not Barbie, though). All day. Even when his back gave out, he kept building those damn toys. I hope I thought to say thank you, but I probably didn't. I wish I could go back in time, just for a minute, to say thank you.

He loved the movie, "The Christmas Story." He would watch it over and over and over and still laugh. It drove my mom crazy. (She is not a fan.) I love that movie, too. I don't know if I can watch it this year, though. Too painful. Too many memories of watching it together, laughing together and teasing my mom for not getting it. How can I keep up a tradition that hurts?

So, I'm back to going through the motions. Doing what I have to do to make the holiday special for my kids. That's what my dad did. That's what I will do this year with the hopes that next year will be a little better.