A Year Ago Today

Today is the one year anniversary of my dad's death. It as taken a year, but I am finally (I think) at the place I thought I would be right after he died. I am relieved he is not in pain anymore. I know he is in a better place. I believe one day I will see him again. Grief has come in waves, and I feel it is out to sea right now. It hasn't come crashing in on me since Christmas. Some little tides have rushed in unexpectedly, but no huge waves. That is a good thing, right? It doesn't mean I've forgotten him. I'm healing. Thus leaving the question: how to spend today?

I feel the need to celebrate his life, to honor the impact he had on my life, and I'm not sure what the best way is to do that. I thought about going bowling, the only sport he played that I actually kind-of enjoy, which we did on Father's Day last year. But I am not feeling up to physical activity. Must be the gray, dreary day outside today. We will certainly have pizza for dinner in his honor. Dad was a self-proclaimed "pizza shark," a trait that has been passed genetically to my son. That is appropriate since I named Will after my dad (and grandfather.)

I think I will call my mom and see what she is up to doing. Her birthday is tomorrow, and we are planning to go to see the butterflies at the Conservatory. Perhaps the best way to honor him is to spend the day with the people I love. Telling and showing them how much they mean to me. That's a tribute he would appreciate, I think.