One Good Thing

I am determined to be positive here today! A couple of weeks go, my pastor had a sermon on finding the one good thing that had happened that day. It really seemed like she was speaking just to me. I have been focusing on the bad stuff, because there's been so damned much of it! But I am going to focus today one one good thing. Okay, maybe more than one. I have a friend who blogs about 3 beautiful things. This is a great idea I have always been too pessimistic to attempt, but I'm giving it a try today.

1. I have more support than I ever realized. I was really overwhelmed by the number of posts, both on here and on FaceBook to my previous blog post. Everyone made me feel like someone heard me, and that someone cared. Thank you all for reaching out to me in a dark time.

2. This was a beautiful day. I spent some time on my porch swing, reading. This has become my favorite way to spend my free time. So relaxing!

3. I took a 2 hour nap!! Blissful sleep that too often eludes me at night--aahh.

4. My husband cooked dinner tonight. Best lasagna ever!! I will be able to take it for lunch, too, so I don't have to worry about that all week.

5. I have a wonderful mom who took the time to make my favorite cake for me. I adore HER red velvet cake, but it has cocoa powder in it. I gave up chocolate for Lent, and could not have any on my birthday, which fell during the season. We finally found a day that she could come over and make the cake with me. The cake was delicious, but the time spent with her was precious and delightful.

6. My children are both smart asses. I can imagine you are thinking, "That's a good thing?" Well, yes it is. They are both intelligent, quick thinkers who can zing me when I least expect it. That always makes me laugh.

That was easier than I thought it would be. Six good/beautiful things! I am blessed.

Are You There, God? It's Me, Kim.

Hey there! How have you been? I try to talk to you every day, but it's been awhile since I feel like I've heard from you. I know, you're busy. Very important job you have. I just kind of wondered though, if you got my message last night, or any of those other nights?

I've heard the whole "you never give us anything we can't handle" routine. Can I just tell you I can't handle any more? Is there a form I need to fill out? Do you have a customer service department that handles complaints? Please tell me what I need to do; I really need some of this stuff lifted off of me.

That "Footprints" poem has always been one of my favorites. I know a lot of folks think it's hokey, but I've always liked it. I have to tell you, I don't really feel carried right now. I feel like you've dropped me in a big pile of shit. And you're standing there laughing at me. WTF?

Isn't there someone else's life you could drop some crap into? I'm sure there is some evil child molester out there who could use a good car accident. What about that Bin Ladin guy? Can't you send some rain on his parade instead of mine? I mean, really, what did we do to deserve all of this?

I am truly thankful that no one was injured last night. I've been telling myself how lucky we were all day. But I'd really like to know that our neighbors aren't going to sue us and we aren't going to lose our home, though. Can you at least tell me that?

I know, I'm blaming you for things that are not your fault. In my head, I know you don't "zap" people for fun. You're there to support us. I know there are people going through a lot worse crap than what I am, too. My piddly little problems don't seem like much to you. I just don't feel very supported, God. If you can't fix any of this, then show me how to.

Okay, well. I've taken up enough of your time. I'll let you get back to whatever it is you do all day. Please give me a call soon. I'd really love to hear from you.

Thanks or Amen.

A Year Ago Today

Today is the one year anniversary of my dad's death. It as taken a year, but I am finally (I think) at the place I thought I would be right after he died. I am relieved he is not in pain anymore. I know he is in a better place. I believe one day I will see him again. Grief has come in waves, and I feel it is out to sea right now. It hasn't come crashing in on me since Christmas. Some little tides have rushed in unexpectedly, but no huge waves. That is a good thing, right? It doesn't mean I've forgotten him. I'm healing. Thus leaving the question: how to spend today?

I feel the need to celebrate his life, to honor the impact he had on my life, and I'm not sure what the best way is to do that. I thought about going bowling, the only sport he played that I actually kind-of enjoy, which we did on Father's Day last year. But I am not feeling up to physical activity. Must be the gray, dreary day outside today. We will certainly have pizza for dinner in his honor. Dad was a self-proclaimed "pizza shark," a trait that has been passed genetically to my son. That is appropriate since I named Will after my dad (and grandfather.)

I think I will call my mom and see what she is up to doing. Her birthday is tomorrow, and we are planning to go to see the butterflies at the Conservatory. Perhaps the best way to honor him is to spend the day with the people I love. Telling and showing them how much they mean to me. That's a tribute he would appreciate, I think.

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

I have a blissful 11 days off starting in about 45 minutes. Actually, I have learned the real term for what I am doing is a "staycation" since I am not actually going anywhere. My kids have Spring break next week, and I am joining them. I am also adding an extra couple of days off for my birthday. I do not believe in working on my birthday and take it off every year.

We might go to the art museum to see the new Egypt exhibit or to Franklin Park Conservatory for the butterflies. I am planning a day trip up to Ashland, Ohio. Why? Because that is the home of Grandpa's Cheesebarn, a lovely store right along I-71 selling homemade cheeses, tons of cute gifts, and chocolates (next door at Sweeties). We found this place on one of our trips up to Niagara Falls, and now it is one of our favorite places. So, we are certainly driving up there.

Other than that, it will be a wonderful week of sleeping in. There will be a ceremony tonight, turning off the alarm clock. I can't wait. I will be keeping in touch with Facebook and Twitter, of course. If I were going somewhere, maybe I'd be completely unplugged. But since I'm home, I have to keep up with news somehow. I will, of course, have to fight my kids for computer time.

My break is over now, so back to work for the last half hour. I can make it!!

Insomnia Sing Along

Okay, here is a little ditty I am writing because I cannot sleep. Sing along with me:
Oh, the tune is "Oh Christmas Tree" I know it's March, but that's the tune.

Insomnia, Insomnia.
Oh how I hate insomnia!
Insomnia, insomnia.
Oh how I hate insomnia!
You keep me up too late at night.
I should be tucked in tight.
Insomnia, Insomnia.
Oh how I hate insomnia.


Hmmm...not thrilled with that 6th line. What else rhymes with night? bite, kite, light, might, fight, height, sight, white. I am so good at phonological awareness! (That is a fancy ready to read term that means rhyming.) Let's see if I can get a better line:

You keep me up too late at night.
Nothing for bite..
I won't be able to fly a kite
Hope I'm asleep by morning light.
Nothing for might...
Nothing for fight...
Nothing for height...
My eyes are bloodshot; such a sight!
The sleeping pill I took was white.

Those are pretty sucky. I kind of like the bloodshot eyes one the best. No, the morning light one is better. I wish I could come up with rhymes for all of them. Ideas, fellow insomniacs? (Or fellow rhymers?)

I am sleepy and tired. Why will my brain not turn off? I should have taken the sleeping pill earlier. Except I was at work until 9, and I probably would have gotten in trouble for sleeping at the Info desk. I've read enough about insomnia to know that I should not be out of bed blogging right now. Nor watching tv ("Big" is on VH1--haven't seen that one in a long time.) I should be laying (lying?? I never get that one right), resting my eyes waiting for sleep to come. But it doesn't. And then I start thinking. Hence the certain Grammy-award winning song I wrote, above.

Since I am online, I will probably check Facebook and Twitter too, just to see if anyone else is up. No offense folks, but I'd really rather be sleeping.

EDIT: Don't you hate it when you check your post for errors, find none, hit post, and then see a huge TYPO????!!!! I hate that.

Interview with My Kids

This has been making the rounds in the blogosphere and on Facebook. It looked like fun, so here are my kids' answers. Will is 14 and Lainey is 12.

1. What is something mom always says to you?
W: Is your homework done?
L: Get into (or out of) the shower!


2. What makes mom happy?
Both: CHOCOLATE

3. What makes mom sad?
W: Not having chocolate
L: Being awakened from a nap


4. How does your mom make you laugh?
W: You're just funny
L: Sarcasm


5. What was your mom like as a child?
W: Evil--she locked her brother in a closet (I did not! We were playing hide and seek, and I shut him in a kitchen cabinet. He could have gotten out any time he wanted to.)
L: ?????

6. How old is your mom?
L: 40..no! 29!! You are always 29.
W: What did Lainey say? Then I will say 27. (both kids earn a gold star)


7. How tall is mom?
L: 5'3" (she's right)
W: Shorter than I am (he's also right)


8. What is her favorite thing to do?
L: Eat chocolate and then take a nap
W: Twitter


9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
L: Watch reality tv she says she doesn't watch
W: Talk to the dog


10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
L:?????
W: World's Greatest Microwave cook

11. What is your mom really good at?
L: Cooking (she is soooo wrong, but it sweet that she said that)
W: Being awesome


12. What is your mom not very good at?
L: Sports
W: Not cussing (oops--blush)

13. What does your mom do for her job?
Both: Children's librarian

14. What is your mom's favorite food?
Both: Chocolate

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
L: When she doesn't embarrass me
W: She's a wonderful and awesome person


16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
L: Pepe le Pew (I can't imagine why she would say that)
W:????


17. What do you and your mom do together
L: Talk
W: Have fun at the supermarket


18. How are you and your mom the same?
L: Eye color
W:We both like to read


19. How are you and your mom different?
L: Our favorite colors are different
W: I have more balls (yes, this is really what he said)


20. How do you know your mom loves you?
L: She tells me every day.
W: Everything she does for me

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
Both: Walt Disney World



That was fun! I have great kids.

Happy Birthday to Half of My Family

2 out of the 4 birthdays in my house were celebrated Tuesday.

This is a picture of my hubby's birthday cake this year. It was very yummy, too. In case you don't know, that's Nipper the dog with the gramophone. Hubby is a huge vinyl record fan, and has a big collection of them. So, I thought it was only fitting that Nipper grace his cake.

My daughter also had her birthday yesterday. She is now 12. How is that possible?? I swear we just brought her home from the hospital. We looked at her baby book last night (a yearly tradition), and she was so tiny. I don't have a scanner, so I can't post a picture, but trust me, she's beautiful.

She was born on the same day that my hubby was. We actually chose to have that happen, since she was a planned C-Section. (Her older brother was an unplanned C-section, but I'll save that gory story for another post.) Another happy coincidence is that the same doctor delivered hubby and Lainey. 33 years apart. Doc was just staring his practice when Rob was born, and just happened to be on duty when his mom went into labor. He was just about to retire when Lainey was born. When we picked out the date, we didn't know which doc was going to be at the hospital that day. At a baby shower, someone asked me who was going to deliver the baby, and I listed all of the docs in the practice, since it could have been any one of them. When I mentioned Dr. Lamprecht, Rob's mom got this funny look on her face, and said, "I think that's who delivered Rob!" She later got out his birth records, and sure enough, Dr. L it was. So, when we got there and saw Dr. L, we told him about our coincidence. He was a bit surprised, but was pleased to see that Rob had "turned out so well."

The Blog Lives!

Thank you to everyone who voted and gave me your thoughts on the blog vs. Facebook decision. I have decided to keep the blog, which is a complete change from what I thought I wanted to do. You all convinced me this blog is a good thing! I will step up my efforts to post more often. And to put more "me" in the posts, too.

I have no Valentine plans--very sad, I know. I've always kind of hated Valentine's Day. It's such a manufactured holiday. My son did ask me to take him shopping for his girlfriend's present. I believe he will be picking out the present, and I get to pay for it--how thoughtful of him. I might buy myself some chocolate for being such a great mom!

Blog Vs. Facebook

I am starting to wonder why I have both of these pages. Do I really need both? Is it time to end the blog and just keep the Facebook page? Last year at this time, I had neither page, and I was perfectly happy. Now I have this dilemma. Let's see if we can figure this out:


Reasons to End This Blog:
1. I don't visit it or update it very often.
2. I don't have as many followers as I do on FB, especially since the CML L&P program ended. So, whatever I write on here reaches very few people. Actually, maybe this is a good thing, and a reason to keep the blog...
3. It doesn't have Flair, Super Poke Pets or Super Poke. (Which could actually be a mark against FB, if I think about it). I mean, aren't those just huge time-wasters? Fun, yes. Necessary, probably not.
4. I have just recently found the Notes section on FB, which is essentially the same thing as a blog.


Reasons to Keep This Blog:
1. It is purple. FB can't be purple.
2. CML may offer more L&P activities in the future, and I will probably need a blog for that. So I might as well just keep the one I have.
3. It is easier to maneuver around on here. I still haven't figured FB out completely.
4. FB can be very slow. It just locked up on me, giving me another reason to keep the blog.
5. I thought I had FB set to display my blog updates in the notes section, but it's not working now. My old posts are there, but not this new one. Grrrr..... [Edit: It's working now. Must not be instantaeous.]
6. It is purple!!

Hmmm...not the best reasons to keep the blog. I think I will post a poll on here and a status update on FB, and see what everyone else thinks. I know several people who keep up both a blog and a FB page. Maybe they have some words of wisdom.

My Feelings About Winter

Totally stole this from someone else's blog. Don't know the person, but thanks for the biggest laugh I've had all day. Edit: Biggest laugh all winter, actually.

HOPE!

How exciting was the Inaugural?! For the first time, I watched it. I actually watched our top elected official promise to uphold the Constitution. Streaming online, even! I had Twitter up, commenting on the events and posted a status on my Facebook account, too. It was thrilling to be a part of the festivities, even on a small level.

I had hoped my kids would watch it in school. They said they only watched bits of it. I'm glad I had set our DVR to pick it up. We watched it together last night. History in the making.

As hopeful as I am that this President will be different, I am skeptical. I remember how much I believed in another President who wound up embarrassing the Office and the country with his sexual antics. I felt betrayed by that man and the circus he created. I hope I never feel the same way about President Obama. He does seem to have more integrity than that other guy, but I still can't help but think he's also just a politician. I hope I'm wrong. I hope he can fulfill the statements he made in his speech. I hope.

Ups and Downs

Up: Despite the fact that I only exercised one day last week, I managed to lose 2 pounds!! I must stop being lazy now and get back into the exercise routine. That is really the only way I am going to lose any more weight and get my heart healthier.

Down: My kids have been sick (nasty tummy virus) that kept us up all night. But they are both better now, so I hope our germiness is over for the season.

Up: Hubby has the home theater room done to where we only need carpetting. It is super fun to watch movies for free in the comfort of my own home. A movie is going to have to look REALLY good to drag me back into the theater.

Down: Still no permanent job for hubby, but he is at least working 40 hour weeks again with the temp agency. The 2-day work weeks over the holidays hit us pretty hard.

Up: I got the dog license this year! Somehow we forgot/lost it last year and just never got it. That was probably fine until our dog ran away and got picked up by the dog catcher. We got him back from the shelter, and then I got a registered letter saying I owed a $150 fine. Failure to pay the fine would result in a warrant for my arrest!!! ACK!!! So, I made sure to get the stupid dog license this year. Now if Max runs off again, at least he is legal.

Down: Icy roads--yuck. I detest winter roads. If God could just let the snow fall on only the grass, I would be happy. And of, course, that's all God has to worry about is whether I'm happy or not. (That was supposed to be snarky/sarcastic, just in case it doesn't read that way.)

Up: I do feel like I have started to turn the corner on my depression. It's not "the year my dad died" anymore, and for some reason, that has made a difference. I hope I can continue the mood upswing!